Vitorio[1] probably came into a relationship with Jesus last night. This happened as my friend Toño and I ate hamburgers with him at the local Burger King. The lesson God is teaching me about this situation is not how Vitorio came to faith but rather the process that was required for his heart to open to the point where Toño and I had earned the right to be heard.
I’ve known Vitorio for about five months. I first met him when he came to our English as a second language class in San Rafael, CA. Vitorio didn’t speak a word of English. That’s not a figure of speech, its literal…he really didn’t speak a word of English. To this day, he gets the numbers one and two mixed up in his head. When Vitorio came to our class, he found a bunch of his fellow countrymen sitting around talking with “gringos” cracking jokes, making lots of mistakes in English and helping one another learn to speak English. All of this was done with a coke and some of Laura’s (my fellow teacher) famous baked goods in their hands.
My friend Ryan and I also met up with Vitorio when we passed out donuts and coffee to the guys waiting for work early Sunday morning. July was particularly cold here in the Bay Area. One morning while we were passing out coffee I notice that Vitorio was shivering. Without really thinking about it, I took off my jacket and told him to get warm. He wanted to be polite but he was so cold that he just smiled, thanked me and huddled into my jacket. About ten minutes later, just as I was getting ready to leave, Vitorio returned my jacket with effusive thanks.
When I got home that morning, Jesus began to speak to me about Vitorio.
Jesus: “Do you think that’s the only time Vitorio is cold?”
Ross: “No, Lord.”
Jesus: “What do you think I would have done? In fact, what did I tell you to do with a jacket if someone asks for it?”
Ross: “You told us to give it to them.”
Jesus: “Figure of speech, hyperbole, or literal?”
Ross: “I think I get your point.”
Jesus: “Not yet; go find him and give him your jacket.”
I spent a frustrating Monday morning looking for Vitorio and not finding him. However, he was at language class on Friday evening. I told him I needed to speak to him privately after class.
Ross: “My friend, I have an apology to make to you.”
Vitorio: “For what.”
Ross: “You were cold and I took my jacket back. Jesus has been talking to me about that. Here’s your jacket. Please forgive me for my insensitivity. Jesus wouldn’t have done that.”
Vitorio has not opened up to me right away. Our original relationship was strictly on a needs basis. Slowly but surely, little by little, I’ve become someone who can be trusted because my love for Vitorio is consistent and real. It is shown not only in my intentional actions and what I say, but in my tone of voice, my gestures, the pats on the back and my willingness to laugh at his jokes. Most of this is tacit on my part, but it has been noticed by Vitorio. With Vitorio, as with most people, I have needed to earn the right to be heard. Eating burgers and sharing Jesus had a long prequel. If Vitorio was telling this story, he probably would bring out all sorts of incidents that haven’t occurred to me.
A Good Place to Share Jesus
Here’s the point; we need to engage people not ambush them. To do that, we need to live life with them, be their friends. Most of us feel much better with an occasional guilt assuaging ambush. We love to minister to the homeless because we are always in a position of power with them. Ever met a homeless person who didn’t know the words of the gospel? I didn’t think so. They’re ambushed on a weekly basis. Building enough trust to eat burgers and share Jesus requires quite a bit of time and investment. We need to be open to those instantaneous, finding the man of peace moments. They happen and we need to be able to respond very quickly. But we also need to be investing in the lives of many people. Some will eventually lead to burgers and Jesus. Others will just be loved but perhaps never enter the Kingdom. Our job is to take them as far as they are willing to go. And, to be listening to the Lord of the harvest who is walking this journey of friendship with us.
- With whom are we building the right to be heard?
- How much of trust building is based on incidents we don’t even remember? How much is tone of voice and pats on the back? Can we fake that?
- What if they never come to faith? Is Kingdom work still being done if we only feed them and give them our jacket?
- How long does it take? When do we give up? How can we know?
[1] Not his real name.
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What if they never come to faith? Is Kingdom work still being done if we only feed them and give them our jacket?
My counter question: What about the old problem of rice Christians? I think when we reach out to the poor, the process can take longer until we know they are following Christ and not the jacket we give. I think that we should only feed them and seek to fulfill their needs. While we do so and when we really are having a life with Christ, it will filter through in what we do and say. I don’t think we can hide that. When you say “never”, do you mean that they die or that Jesus came back? Or do you mean that we lost patience and have given up faking our love to them? True love does not give up. I think that is the whole point of rice christians is that we just feed and love them to see them come and enter the kingdom and give up when it takes too long.
Ernie,
I think you are asking good questions. Obviously, there will be differences of opinion as to what is the right answer to your questions. Here’s mine. I think we promote the Kingdom any time we move people towards shalom. If we consistently do that we will find those who want to know Christ. But our goal is to offer them all the shalom they are willing to take. Ultimate shalom comes only from Christ. They have free will. We can’t take that away from them and shouldn’t try. We never know when they will seek Christ. There is an unending sea of need out there. And we are finite people with finite resources to help. How do we then filter what we do and don’t do. I think the answer is in the new covenant. Jesus will put on our heart and mind what he wants us to do. Our job is to obey. I don’t believe that everyone Jesus leads us into ministry with will come to Christ. That didn’t even happen with Jesus. Jesus offered for the rich young ruler to become a disciple. He turned it down over wealth. So our job is to obey. Jesus builds his church, we can’t. But, when Jesus gives us opportunity we can make disciples.